I prefer bumper cars at the amusement park

Why do you follow me so closely on the freeway? You're tailgating me so closely that I can't see your front bumper. I'm in the far right lane . . . the "slow lane", and I'm doing 70 in a 55. That means that I can be ticketed, but I'm still not driving fast enough for you.

You act like you're actually trying to push me off the road. I guess you're trying to overcompensate for your insecurities by being big and bad on the road . . . or, maybe you're late for work. Maybe you need to get out of bed a few minutes earlier. Not my fault that you're too lazy to get going in the morning.

A few minutes later, someone pulls out in front of me, drives a block, and then turns without using their signal. I'm sorry. I didn't realize that I had mistakenly driven onto your private highway.

Oddly enough, your bumper sticker says "Declare peace". Too bad that you've chosen to declare war on your fellow motorists.